You might be a parent if...

(the results of my facebook survey, thank you to Theresa Crowell, Jessica Bowden, Katy Horning, Judi Pingle, Zara McKie-Hastings, Julie Campbell, Kathy Duncan, Susan McGeown, and Kristen Orosz!)

1. You are unable to walk out of the house without some sort of snot, pee, poop, spit up, or whatever else comes out of the little buggers all over you; even when you think you are clean. You aren't.
2. You can't go the day without singing Dora, Phineas & Ferb, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, or Handy Manny.
3. You can't walk across your floor without picking up at least one Cheerio on your foot.
4. You consider chicken nuggets, Mac & Cheese, Fish crackers, graham crackers, and peanut butter (if kiddo isn't allergic) the 5 basic food groups.
5. You are wondering just how many of these you can come up with.
6. You can't remember the last time you went to the bathroom alone.
7. You can smell a dirty diaper from across the room, even when no one else smells anything.
8. You absolutely understand now what YOUR parents meant when they said, "You'll understand one day."
9. You've ever said some form of, "I'm not being mean, I'm keeping you SAFE."
10. You say things you swore you would never say, I.E. "Stop crying before I give you something to cry about." "You get what you get and don't throw a fit." "I can't hear you when you're whining."
11. You randomly hum the theme song to Sponge Bob Squarepants.
12. The last 5 movies you have seen have been cartoons.
13. 9pm is past your bedtime
14. You can function on 2 hours of sleep.
15. Your family pet doubles as a vacuum cleaner
16. You own stock in Spray & Wash and hand sanitizer
17. You carry baby wipes, crackers, & matchbox cars in your purse.
18. You can't remember your life before kids.
19. No matter how badly your kids misbehave, you thank God for blessing you with them.
20. You can actually make a valid argument for nose picking because sometimes you've just gotta get those boogies out of their tiny noses!
21. You reach over to wipe food, dirt, gunk, etc. off of the face of someone who is not your child, and not even necessarily related to you.
22. You've developed chronic shoulder/back pain from lugging around a 15lb. diaper bag, a purse large enough to hold the overflow, and the child for whom you are toting all this stuff!
23. Even if your child is ugly, you think he/she is the most beautiful child on Earth.
24. Everything they do is better and cuter than anyone else's child.
25. You would stay up all night making a blouse for a school presentation the next day because you only learned about it just before your child went to bed.
    
26. Warm tea/coffee is a luxury to you.
27. Every time you open your bag for your wallet, you have to remove a diaper (nappy), baby wipes, tylenol (calpol), and a zhu zhu pet just to see the bottom of the bag.
28. Your car smells permanently of sour milk and is knee deep in lollypop wrappers (papers).
29. You sky plus (TIVO) list consists entirely of children's shows.
30. Pampering yourself means you got a shower this week.
31. The very loud screaming and crying fit in the store doesn't bother you. Even after you realize it's your own child doing it.
32. It's normal to microwave a cup of tea/coffee about 5 times and still drink it cold!
33. You begin to like the smell of baby vomit.
34. You are having a conversation with your significant other or even another adult and you use words such as, "boo boo" or "yuckies."
35. Most of your adult conversations are about your kids.
36. Even though you potty trained your last child 8 years ago, you still refer to the bathroom as the potty and ask everyone (even your spouse) if they have to go before you leave the house.
37. You refer to your husband as "Daddy" so often that you begin to forget what his real name is...