And that's why I do it.....

I wish I could relay to you the love I feel for my darling little girl. I could spend every second of every day for the rest of eternity telling you about my love for her and wouldn't come anywhere near expressing what she means to me.

She's beautiful. She's so sweet. She's interested in everything. She adventurous (sometimes to her mommy and daddy's distress). She's happy. She's funny. She wows me every day with how smart she is.

Now I know there are a lot of moms out there (most, I hope) that feel that way about their children. But I love my little one from here until the ends of the Earth. And I can't wait to love more babies this way. I feel horrible for moms who aren't able to stay home with their children, and I my heartaches for those moms who don't want to. I know not all moms want to stay at home, and I give them kudos for recognizing that their kids will benefit better from alternate means of child care. I am just personally grateful to the good Lord that he gave me the strength, patience, and means to be able to stay home. I am very lucky and I will never know why he made it possible for me to stay home, I just know I will thank and praise him for the rest of my life and beyond.

Today, she woke up from her insanely short nap, just crying and crying. I ran upstairs to "rescue" her, and found her lying in her bed face covered with snot and more (read: green) hanging from her nose. Her cheeks were 12 shades of red, and the tears that normally subside when I enter her room just continued to flow.

I gave her a big hug and brought her downstairs and sat on the couch with her on my lap. The tears just kept coming and the look on her face said, "Help me, Mommy. Make it feel better."

So I took her flannel PJ shirt off, wiped her nose and face, then got our friend the Booger Sucker out (and Aspirator for those who like the techincal terms...if you don't know either, google it)...which makes her scream, but also allows her to breathe...had a little Nurofen and sat together watching the rest of Mommy's movie (Defenitely Maybe...way cute...go rent it). The tears didn't stop flowing for 15 minutes or so, but we just sat and snuggled while we waited for the nurofen to kick in. Finally, she started feeling better and would look and talk to me through sniffs. It's not much more than babbling, but she's mastering more and more words and so the babbling actually sounds like she's trying to tell me something important. Anyway, she just stopped talking, grabbed my hand and interlaced her fingers in mine.

I burst into tears.

I couldn't help it. It was the sweetest, most grown up affectionate thing she's ever done and I wanted to freeze time there forever. Especially when I know that in the blink of an eye, she'll be in Kindergarten, then she'll be a teenager not longer after that and HATE me, and just when she starts liking me again, she'll be moving out and all these moments will be lost.

And that is why I stay home....

And that is why my house is constantly a disaster....

And that's why I'm quickly running out of knitting time for Christmas.

Because I get one chance to be with my little girl. I get one chance to kiss her and tell her I love her every second she's awake. I get one chance to kiss the boo-boo's. I get one chance to teach her that no matter what, her Daddy and I will be here for her. I only get one chance, and if I let it, I may wake up one morning and find that the chance has passed.

And I could never live with myself if I didn't take of every chance I get with her.

Thank you Father, for blessing me in uncountable ways. You are an amazing God. May I make you proud as a mommy to this wonderful little one whom you trusted me with. Amen.